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Well Hello there kitties! I know it’s been a long time since I’ve last chatted with you all! Let’s just say that I’ve been adjustin’ to married life again, dealin’ with a teenage daughter, and tryin’ to find myself. What? You didn’t know I had lost myself? Well darlins, I have.  I don’t know if it was the whole excitement of the wedding being over, being in a job that was increasingly painful to attend everyday, or just feelin old in general. In this quest to figure out what the heck was goin on, I started daydreamin a lot about life in general….then I started watchin a lot of weird tv shows.

Now those of you who know me can attest, I’ve always been a Southern Belle trapped in a geologically compromised body and era. I don’t comprehend this century very well or manners or lack of good breeding or most of the other things that can’t be explained by reality tv. I don’t understand what is so wonderful about women who have to find love in public from 8pm til 10pm and make total fools of themselves in front of the entire country, or beat up other girls and threaten them while talking like a truck driver and wearing horrible stretchy dresses and platform shoes. Don’t get me started on that mess Snookie! I get rather appalled at the fact our daughters are watching these (I use the term loosely) girls…and emulating the behaviors I see! Scares me much! Not just a little-much! But I digress…(here I go again kitties….) But then…I found it…the one show that lured me in and I was hooked like a little girl on her first Barbie doll!  I am talking about “The Real (haha) Housewives of Beverly Hills”…

Yes, my shameful little addiction is this show. Now, how to put it into a synopsis for those of you who have not been lured in by the total unreality of it all…I guess the easiest thing to catch you up would be to torture you and tell you to review at www.bravo.com and catch up on the episodes. Last year, Camille Grammar was the total beeotch you loved to hate and just evil, catty and made herself the victim in the “I had no idea I’m upsetting anyone” way. This year it’s Taylor Armstrong, who has lips as big and inflated as Donald Duck (couldn’t resist this picture)…who can’t make up her mind if she’s crazy, her husband is beating her, who she’s mad at, if she’s lying or all of the above. Now darlins, Beverly Hills focuses on Kyle Richards and Kim Richards (remember “Return to Witch Mountain?” me neither..) who also happen to be Paris Hilton’s aunts…then there’s the above mentioned Taylor and her mess of a con artist husband Russell who killed himself in the summer, Lisa VanderPump (named after SHOES) and her husband Ken, and they are English and own some restaurants..and their dog Jiggy who is just too cute, and Adrienne Maloof who is supposedly richer than God and owns everything and her plastic surgeon husband who I never pay any attention to. There is also Brandi who is Eddie Cibrian’s ex-wife thrown into the mix.  GIRLS! This is so sugar-coated with drama every week, I need to go to the dentist! They are total and complete train wrecks sprinkled with a heap of drama finished off by spoonfuls of SERIOUSLY? and followed off by an “I can’t believe I have to wait a week!” 

Now this led me to sit and think, what if they had a show called “The Real Housewives of Southern Ohio?” What kind of women would be picked for that? I have a lot of different types of women running thru my head kitties, and the drama would probably be a lot different from what I see on Beverly Hills…(things like “how are we going to pay our bills THIS month?” and “OMG! Where did you GET that cute sweater? I saw it over at Forever 21 at the mall” and “my daughter is driving me crazy, I wish school break was over” and “Zumba classes are finally coming to the VFW”) Hardly the things escape are made of..but it just makes me wonder…would the Real Wives of Beverly Hills be watching US thinking WE are just as fascinating as THEY are?  Hmmmm, things to ponder kittens…things to ponder anotha day…..time for me to go back to warming my tootsies and reflectin’ upon how to be a real housewife for a while…..