Carnivora for a reason

  

  Hello kitties….I have to rant about something that has been irritating me to no end as of late. At first it was slightly amusing but now…IT’S ON! My subject today is about Cougars.  Not the lovely kind you see on Animal Planet or at the zoo..or in my picture to the left. I mean, these animals are magnificent creatures…they have the greatest habitat of any large wild terrestrial mammal in the Western Hemisphere, extending from Yukon in Canada to the southern Andes of South America.  The cougar is a solitary hunter and not happy to share its territory with others of its kind, the cougar is an apex predator whose strong jaws, large claws and exemplary stalking abilities make its preferred prey some of the largest in America – elk, deer and moose, cougars can leap 16 feet straight up and 45 feet across. That means a Cougar can jump over a school bus – the long way. I mean, WOW and how amazing is THAT?? Powerful right?  I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to mess with a cougar…. so, why then and how, did this sleek, powerful animal get associated with another type of cougar?? Oh kitties…explore with me where everything went so horribly wrong, won’t you??? 
Let me cut your food for you big boy

Okay, look at the mess on the right……..the thing in the animal print. I know, it’s not Demi Moore…BUT…it is what the people population call a Cougar. Here’s the definition I found of a Cougar..ready??

An older woman, typically early thirties to mid-forties, who has abandoned traditional rules of romantic engagement and taken as her mission the seduction of as many game young men as she can possibly handle.
“Some Urban Cougar with a boob job tried to buy me a drink last night.”
That was from Urban Dictionary online.  Pretty accurate I guess…But wow they have cougars starting in mid 30’s…I think some girls out there would be pretty insulted at that one….I mean they can still bear children and get out there and get married…
Then I found this delightful description….Definition: A woman aged 40 years or old who preys on younger men. During a hunt, she can often be spotted by her leopard print outfit, which makes her feel and look younger.  Example: “Sweet, look at all the cougars at this bar. Looks like we’ll be getting our drinks bought for us tonight.”
Background: The name “cougar” was used because it was associated with the leopard print clothing that was popular among these women to help them feel young. My definition of cougar places the age of the woman starting at 40. I disagree with definitions that state cougars are 35+ because it seems arbitrary. Statistically, the risk of pregnancy complications significantly increases at age 35, however, culturally that age is not very significant. However, age 40 is recognized as “over the hill” and therefore many people have their midlife crisis then. Therefore, major shifts in a person’s own identity occurs so to maintain a sense of their youthfulness, cougars will have plastic surgery, get Botox injections, and wear provocative clothing.

Very observant young man! This coming from a toddling old lady of 47. I must admit I like animal prints, especially shoes and purses and I do not shy away from an occasional sweater or cute accessory, especially the leopard kind.  However, I doubt the internet fairies can see this and follow me around all day long spying on me.

What started all of this kitties, is I kept getting Hot Cougar Singles dating suggestions in my hotmail account. I deleted them as fast as I got them because I was engaged and everything. I thought it was funny. Well, I kept getting them. Then on my facebook, I complained on my status one day. Then on my twitter account out of the blue, I had -wait for it- CougarThriller now following me! What?? Am I supposed to get all excited!Really?? I do not take this as a compliment. Then, my husbands friends were all jokey with him about me being a cougar…HELLO I’m a year and a half older than him, which hardly qualifies me as being a cougar.

Okay, now I know some of you may be thinking I’m being a bit too oversensitive to this whole thing and what’s the big deal…? Well, at this point in my life, I really don’t want to be made out to be this pathetic over the hill desperate woman who buys botox injections, boobs and saunters to bars in her leopard print spandex to get college boys drunk enough to go home with her for a wild evening so he can leave and I can sit with my cat the next night watching reruns of True Blood so I can see other shirtless hotties and practice looking like a hot vampire for the goth club the following weekend.  Not happening. Not even for a minute. Not even when I was single.  I mean, what woman out there wants a man that is so much younger than her that she feels like the cryptkeeper when the lights are back on? Or how about trying to talk about something and he gives you a blank stare  because he has NO idea what you mean. Or worse yet, he wants a mommy! ew factor just went WAY up there.  I mean, I don’t want a man I have to teach anything. Or yell at, or reason with or bribe or worry about their manners or mouth! I don’t want to compete with video games or beer pong or not be able to go out because he doesn’t have any money!  Why would any woman want to stalk THAT??? Okay, if it makes the Cougar lady feel all powerful that she’s got this young guy and she can boss him around and seduce him and all that..can I just say EWW again???

So anyway…give me a guy my age or a little older, who has a job, a car, doesn’t hang out with his buddies at bars or do beer pong anymore, isn’t fixated on his video game score or zombies, knows what current events are, has manners, and looks at me like a person, not a cat.  I will take that anyday.  Sure, I’m 47, wear animal print sometimes, have days where I actually think I’m hot and get mistaken for being younger than I am and get flirted with by younger guys…but would I be a cougar if I was single? NO WAY! So, Cougar dating online, and Cougar Thriller and whatever other Cougar calling services there are out there….leave me be or I’m gonna get my claws and scratch your eyes out! I can jump over buses you know!

 
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